Breakdown
by happy-rea
Summary: After everything that happens in series 1 Alex must have gone past he breaking point. What happens when she does? two-shot
1. Chapter 1

Breakdown - Alex

AN: After everything that happened in series 1. Alex must have reached her breaking point. What happens when she does? GALEX

Really Angsty.

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It had been a normal day in CID, they had caught a burglar, Alex had shouted at Gene, and Gene had called Alex a posh mouthy tart.

They were outside Luigi's; in the Quattro with them were Ray, Shaz and Chris.

Alex was sitting in the back with Chris and Shaz, looking out of the window. Everyone was talking to each other, not bothering to get out the car yet. But Alex had stayed out of the conversation thinking about the brief time she had met her mother.

There had been a parade going on that day and so it wasn't peculiar when a young girl walked past holding a red balloon, Alex jolted as she remembered that balloon she had had that day. The balloon that had, effectively, saved her life. She tried not to think about it. Deciding to think instead of how her mother had really loved her. It was a nice feeling knowing that after all these years, Evan had continually told her that her parents had loved her while she was growing up but the insecurity had stayed.

It had felt like a weight off her shoulders had been lifted when her mother had said that she loved her daughter. Not that Caroline Price had known that she was talking to her daughter at the time. How could she?

She hadn't realised that conversation had stopped and they were all listening to the news on the radio, she was too caught up in her own thoughts. However she did hear the radio when the next song came on

"…I'm happy, hope you're happy to…" Her mind already in the past was now stuck in that day, in the few minutes that changed her life. She started to breathe quickly and heavily but no one heard her they were to busy talking to each other now that the news had finished. She didn't even think they had realised that they had left the radio on.

The last straw for Alex was when a clown walked past, it wasn't dressed like the clown that haunted her. For this clown was wearing bright colours. But Alex didn't see that she screamed and started to hyperventilate, the clown heard and turned to face the red car, it's painted smile scaring her. She screamed again and started to hit the window.

"Let me out. Let me out" She continued repeating that mantra over and over again, getting more and more agitated each time.

She could almost feel the heat as her brain once again made her see the death of her parents, from two points of view. Once as a little child and once as an adult. The two started to mingle and soon she couldn't tell the difference between them.

All she could see was the explosion over and over again, with a voice running over it. "It's all your fault, it's all YOUR fault."

She could see Layton walk past the car and smile, she could see the pieces of the car rattle as they fell to the floor. The poster on the side of the van, someone grabbing her hand as she once again let go of the balloon.

She could feel the immense heat, the despair as she fell to the ground as she realised she was too late, the shock as she saw her parents go up in flames, the terror that had gripped her and made her stand rooted to the spot.

Fireworks went off, but to Alex it wasn't fireworks it was an explosion, a bomb, something that killed her parents.

She had tears cascading down her face and hit the window even harder she **had** to get out of the car.

"Let me out. Let me out." She could feel strong arms grab her, but she wasn't sure if that was just the memory or not.

Suddenly she was outside on the pavement. She curled up into the smallest ball she could manage. Her arms were over her ears trying to block out as much sound as possible. Tears fell down her face and she was unable to stop them, she couldn't even breath properly.

She wanted her daughter, her Molly, she wanted to be able to stand at her parent's grave and speak as Alex Price, to tell her father that she forgave him.

She wanted to be in her own time. To have never come to 1981 and to never have known what her father did.

But she was stuck here, she couldn't save them. That voice in her head was right it was all her fault, it was her fault that they had died. She _should_ have done more, she _could_ have done more. But she had just stood there and watched it yet again.

_Alex, Bolly, come on._

She could hear someone calling her name and slowly she started to curl out of the ball and look up. It was at that point another firework went off. Alex screamed again and started crying even harder.

She had never liked fireworks; she hadn't been scared of them, for she loved the way they lit up the sky, it was just the sound, she hated the sound. In the future her and Molly would sit watching them with ear muffs on. That way they could enjoy the sight but Alex wouldn't have to hear the sound that had always reminded her of the day her parents died.

Every time a firework went off she would scream again, each firework penetrated her ears and for each firework a car exploded inside her mind.

_Damn, it's the fireworks. Stop the bloody fireworks_

The fireworks stopped, she could hear people all around her and she tried to curl up even tighter but it wasn't possible.

_You've got to calm down Bolly_

She could hear a voice telling her to calm down to regulate her breathing but the voice placing all the blame on her was louder, she opened her eyes. She could still see the car exploding, she could still see the face of her mother, as Caroline Price called for Alex to get back into the car.

The images were fading however and she tried to focus on the voice telling her to calm down. It was getting louder and the other voice was, thankfully, getting quieter.

Once again she opened her eyes, waiting to see the clown looking over her- leering, instead she saw the concrete pavement, she drew lots of small hiccupping breaths as she tried to calm down.

_Come on Bolly, calm down for the Gene Genie_

She concentrated on that gruff voice that she knew so well. And the voice of little Alex - the voice that had been blaming her – fell silent.

The tears were no longer falling quite so rapidly down her face, she started to lift her head.

_That's right Alex, come on_

She could feel her arms, they were round her head as though she was in the brace position, she had tried and failed to block the sounds of the fireworks, she started to move out of the protective position she had taken.

_You're fine. Completely safe._

The gentle gruff voice. An oxymoron if ever she heard one. She started to stretch her legs and come out of the foetal position. She was safe, but she was still stuck in 1981. She continued to cry, although it was not as hard as before, she was still shaking from ferocity of the tears.

_Alex, Alex you've got to calm down for me_

She lifted her head and started to push herself up. She must look a right sight. Lying curled up on the pavement, screaming at fireworks. She wouldn't hear the end of it. She tried to laugh at her own foolishness, it was a stupid fear – the sound of fireworks. The laugh came out more as a chocking sob though.

_That's it Bolly, sit up, grab my hand._

She was sitting up. She tried to get up by herself but failed. She still couldn't see much past her tears and was trying not to focus on the car that was continually blowing up in the corner of her eye, over and over again, taunting her. She grabbed his hand, the hand that she had held when she was only nine.

_It's ok, Bolls. I've got you. One, two, three._

A sharp tug and she was standing upright, her legs weren't ready to suddenly take her weight, an arm grabbed her and held her straight as she wobbled.

She looked up through all the tears and saw her boss. She still wasn't breathing properly but she tried to smile, to show that she was going to be fine.

_Bolls. The ambulance is here, you've got to start breathing properly._

She felt him walk towards the paramedics gently pulling her with him. She felt a hand push down on her shoulder so she was sitting on the edge of the ambulance. An oxygen mask was placed over her mouth and nose. Someone was telling her to breathe slowly, to take deep breaths. Alex decided to listen to the guiding voice and did as it told her, in, out, in, out, in, out.

_You're going to be fine Alex. I promise_

Soon she was breathing properly, but they left the mask on. She was sat in the ambulance with a paramedic next to her, still telling her when to breathe in and out. Gene Hunt was sat on the other side just holding her hand.

Alex vaguely heard him tell the rest of the team to meet them at the hospital but she was concentrating on her breathing too much to really hear what was going on.

At the hospital they took off the oxygen mask. When she was asked what caused the breakdown she just started to cry again. She tried to curl into herself but her DCI wouldn't let her.

_We need to know Bols_

So she told him. She told him how her parents had died when she was nine, how she had seen the car explode and how she had done nothing to stop it. She told him how since then she had been scared of the sound of fireworks, how they hit to close to home. She told him how she used to watch fireworks with her little girl, both wearing ear muffs so they couldn't hear a thing. She told him how she remembered hearing that song before the car blew up. She told him how she had run out of the car to get a balloon.

She also told him that she hadn't been sleeping properly for days, to scared to go to sleep and see the explosion again.

She told him how she had felt when she saw the Price's car explode, how completely useless she had felt because she knew exactly how little Alex felt and how she had done nothing. She told him that she could hear Alex's voice in her head telling her that it was all her fault, that she should have done more.

_It's not your fault Alex_

That wasn't true, she disagreed with him. She should have done something, she could have saved Alex Price from a life without parents. She told him how she had never known if her parents loved her, how she had always seemed to come second to the job.

When she stopped DCI Gene Hunt just held her close to him, stroking her hair and telling her that it wasn't her fault, that there was nothing more she could have done.

Alex remembered the psychiatrist leaving, he had done his bit. She had got everything off her chest, he was no longer needed.

Alex had no memory of falling asleep in her boss' arms. She had no memory of him picking her up and taking her back to her flat. She didn't remember him kissing her on the head and wishing her goodnight.

All she remembered in the morning was that she felt safe, that somehow everything was going to be OK.

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Sooooooooooooooooooo what do you think? REVIEW!!!!!

Personally I don't like the ending, I'm not quite sure how I wanted to end but that wasn't it. If anyone is reading this and can see how this should end please let me know

Thanks Happy-reader007


	2. Chapter 2

Breakdown - Gene

AN: Ok so I got bored and decided to do my sisters idea. I'm going to write the same thing from each characters point of view. I might do Shaz, Chris and Ray together I might not. If you have any ideas please let me know. WOW the last episode was amazing!!!!!

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It had been a normal day in CID, they had caught a burglar, Gene had called Alex a posh mouthy tart and Alex had shouted at Gene.

They were outside Luigi's; in the Quattro with them were Ray, Shaz and Chris.

Alex was sitting in the back with Chris and Shaz, looking out of the window. Everyone was talking to each other, not bothering to get out the car yet.

Gene had tried to include Alex in the conversation but she just continued staring out of the window, oblivious to anything that wasn't inside her mind, eventually he gave up.

He turned the radio on so they could hear the news, they sat in silence listening to the report on the robbery that had happened earlier, and then Ray asked to leave the radio on so he could hear the football report.

He talked to Chris and Shaz about the day, and things he wanted to do tomorrow, after the football report Ray joined in.

He heard a song come on the radio, "…I'm happy, hope you're happy too…" It was a stupid song so he turned the radio off not stopping in his conversation with his team. Well his team minus his DI.

The next thing he knew Alex had screamed, it was a scream of complete terror, he looked at her and he could see that she was hyperventilating. She then started hitting the window, shouting to be let out of the car.

Gene could see tears falling down Alex's cheek unchecked, he and Ray quickly got out of the front seats and put them down so Alex could get out, but she didn't seem to notice. Chris and Shaz both moved leaving Alex alone in the back of the car, shouting to be let out.

A firework went off, it made Gene and his team jump but Alex had the worst reaction she screamed again and started to hit the window even more fervently.

Gene leant over and picking Alex up got her out of the car, he placed her on the pavement and watched as DI Alex Drake curled up into a ball, what had happened to make his head strong DI like this?

_Alex, Bolly, come on._

Gen spoke to her as gently as he could, trying to get her to calm down, he thought it had worked because Alex slowly started to lift her head,

Another firework went off and Alex screamed yet again, she curled into an even tighter ball and covered her ear with her arms.

Another firework, and another. Every single time a firework exploded into colour in the sky his DI screamed. It didn't take a genius to work out that the fireworks were upsetting her.

_Damn, it's the fireworks. Stop the bloody fireworks_.

He shouted at Ray. When Ray asked how he told him that he didn't care he just had to make sure that they set off no more fireworks.

He then ordered Shaz and Chris to clear the area. Luigi came up the stairs having heard a commotion, the 'Manc Lion' told Luigi to call the ambulance for his DI. Lugi quickly ran back into his restaurant and called them.

When he came back up he told the Guv that it would be there in a few minutes, they said to try and get Alex as calm as possible.

_You've got to calm down Bolly_

He sat next to Alex and told her to regulate her breathing, it was obvious that Alex was trying but it didn't seem to make a difference, he continued talking calmly to her like he had seen Sam do once to someone, although that person hadn't been in as much of a state as Bolly was now. He wished Sam was there, Sam would have known exactly what to do.

He thought it worked because Alex, opened her eyes however all too quickly she closed them tightly again.

He kept talking to her and she opened her eyes again, this time she didn't close them and she also stopped breathing as deeply as she had before, her breath becoming short hiccups

_Come on Bolly, calm down for the Gene Genie_

He wasn't sure what else to say apart from telling her to calm down for him. Chris and Shaz had done a great job clearing the street. There was no one else near by.

He could hear the siren getting closer and watched as Alex slowly started to lift her head

_That's right Alex, come on_

He couched her, she didn't look as though she was going to go back into her past position, in fact she was now gently and slowly moving her arms away from her ears as though she had only just realised that the fireworks had stopped.

_You're fine. Completely safe._

'Keep telling them there safe, keep reassuring them' that was what Sam he said, he remembered now, and it seemed to be working as Alex gently unrolled her legs, however she was still breathing far to quickly and deeply.

_Alex, Alex you've got to calm down for me_

She didn't look at him but she started to calm down a bit more, the tears were still falling thick and fast but they were silent now, no noise came from the often noisy inspector Drake. Although he often told her to shut up, it seemed wrong to her no sound at all from her. It just wasn't her.

He watched as Alex sat up, a chocking sob came out of her mouth and she tried to wash the tears away but they were soon replaced by others.

_That's it Bolly, sit up, grab my hand._

He watched, and felt his heart break, as she tried to get up without his help. She failed and unwillingly she took his hand. It was obvious that she was annoyed she needed his help. However without it, she would still be in the car screaming to be let out, or frozen in fear curled up like a hedgehog on the pavement.

_It's ok, Bolls. I've got you. One, two, three._

He gave her a count down, and pulled her up. It was too quickly however as she wobbled, her legs not ready to take the weight. He put his arm round her waist and held her straight and she leant against him.

Normally he would be overjoyed that she wasn't leaning against him because she was drunk, but it was even worse to see her leaning against him in the state she was then when she was drunk.

_Bolls. The ambulance is here, you've got to start breathing properly._

The ambulance pulled over and when they saw Alex was leaning against him still not breathing properly they gestured for him to bring her to them and got out an oxygen mask.

He did as he was asked and soon Alex and he were sitting on the edge of the ambulance; Alex had an oxygen mask over her face and a paramedic with making sure she was breathing properly, whilst another one asked Gene what had happened.

Gene told them what happened to the best of his ability, the rest of the team mentioning things he hadn't noticed, like when she was out of the car she kept saying the name of her daughter and how it wasn't the fireworks that bothered her but rather the sound of the fireworks.

_You're going to be fine Alex. I promise_

He promised her, Alex was going to be fine. She had to be fine. Once Alex was breathing properly the paramedics said they wanted Alex to get checked out by the psychiatrist, something had caused this complete breakdown and they wanted to know what and get her through it. It wouldn't do for the same trigger happen while they were in a situation when she was needed as a DI.

Gene sat in the ambulance with Alex, holding her hand. He told the rest of the team to meet them at the hospital, they closed the doors and the ambulance started.

They were lucky, Gene thought as they drove. It would have been just his luck for the fireworks to start again, or for a different lot of fireworks to go off. Alex had only just calmed down and the fireworks would set her off again and all that time spent calming her down would have been wasted.

At the hospital all the team sat with Alex, they all needed to be there so they knew what caused it so they could minimise the chance of it happening again.

Gene nearly strangled the psychiatrist because he straight away asked Alex what had happened. Alex almost immediately tried to close in on herself again but Gene wouldn't let her. He just held her arms and waited for her to calm down again.

_We need to know Bols_

He spoke quietly but he knew she had heard him, she stopped fighting and leant into her chest. She told him.

She told him how her parents had died when she was nine, how she had seen the car explode and how she had done nothing to stop it. She told him how since then she had been scared of the sound of fireworks, how they hit to close to home. She told him how she used to watch fireworks with her little girl, both wearing ear muffs so they couldn't hear a thing. She told him how she remembered hearing that song before the car blew up. She told him how she had run out of the car to get a balloon.

She also told him that she hadn't been sleeping properly for days, to scared to go to sleep and see the explosion again.

She told him how she had felt when she saw the Price's car explode, how completely useless she had felt because she knew exactly how little Alex felt and how she had done nothing. She told him that she could hear Alex's voice in her head telling her that it was all her fault, that she should have done more.

Alex had been through so much in her life. Gene realised he had never thought that one person could go through all that Alex had and becoming the kind of person Alex was; strong, caring, loving. But then Alex hadn't got through it really she had just shoved it all to the back of her mind and ignored it, and this was the problem with that. It had suddenly got too much and all of the triggers happened at the same time

_It's not your fault Alex_

He told her, but he could feel Alex shaking her head and start crying again. He heard her speak through the tears saying how Alex Price was right, the voice in her head was right, she could've and should've done more.

His heart broke into millions of tiny pieces as she said that she had never known if her parents loved her or not, how she had always come second to the job. She then quietly said how she was scared Molly might feel the same way. How she couldn't see Molly anymore.

He held her close when she finished, stroking her hair, calmly telling her that it wasn't her fault, of course Molly knew that she loved her, how there was nothing more she could have done, the rest of CID chipping in when he fell quiet.

The psychiatrist left leaving them alone with Alex, it was unlikely that this would happen again he said. They just had to be careful she didn't bottle everything up.

He felt Alex fall asleep, he walked out of the hospital carrying his sleeping beauty in his arms Chris, Ray and Shaz following.

He told them he would see them the next day and they went there separate ways.

Gene placed Alex in his car and drove through the streets of London as gently as he could, not wanting Alex to wake up. When he got to her flat he gently carried her inside, and laid her on the bed.

He kissed her forehead and left a note saying he didn't want to see her in work for the next few days. She was to spend the time sleeping and sorting herself out.

Smiling her saw Alex roll over in her sleep, she had grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to her chest muttering the word 'Molly'

He walked out of the flat, and went back to his house. He would have to find Molly if possible. He would help Alex though this if she let him, and if not he would wait until she did.

Sam would be proud of him, Gene pondered. He had come a long way since DI Alex Drake joined his team.

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Again. I don't like the ending, the last two paragraphs were forced out and I don't think they flow that well. But c'est la vie - that's life.

Let me know what you think. Should I do the others or not. I have an idea for Shaz – working with the whole Guardian angel thing and the whole Shaz is the only one who can see the flirting thing.

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!

Happy-reader007


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